Taking Responsibility

Several years ago, flying by myself in a tiny Grumman Tiger, I had passed over an extensive lonely forest that seemed to go on forever. In a moment of stark reality, I realized that I would have no one to blame if I made a critical mistake in judgment, and certainly the laws of physics would not listen to my excuses. There are so many things to think about in the cockpit, to know where you are at all times, to have alternate landing spots along the way. To calculate fuel properly, and maintain VOR, LORAN, or ADF contact. What would my life be like if I always had to take full responsibility?

Was it the rabbit hole that caused me to twist my ankle, or was it my inattention? Were the thorns on that bush responsible for the cuts on my calves and shins? Perhaps it is the bears fault that I lost the back window of my car, even though I left a box of donuts in there.

I wonder how many people would quit smoking if they were told that they were fully, financially responsible for any smoking related illnesses? How wierd a world it would be if we all took responsibility.

Children come to expect that they will come into a windfall of dollars when their parents pass. Do they ever think about their responsibility of this? Their investment? What have they invested in their futures? Is it a handout? Did they somehow earn something just by being born? Would they feed you after you have fed them? Would they make you comfortable when sick? Would they ask if there is something you need? Ask them. Sometimes I wish I had nothing... living from check to check. Would I feel guilty about having nothing to leave them? Probably. I wonder if the reciprocity is there.

What if a drunken driver surrendered his liscense forever, knowing fully that he was intoxicated behind the wheel? And didn't bitch because he got caught?

What a wierd world it would be. We could eradicate diabetes or at least have a measure of control if we listened and lived a healthy life, and simply took responsibility and acted upon it.

I guess people are too wrapped up in their own stuff to think about others. It is a tough world. Some fault me for my giving nature. They skoff at the money I spend to feed the wild animals around our home, and help with a philanthropic endeavor.

Straight up? They can kiss my ass. I have never been one to mince words. To my disadvantage, at times, I have not backed down. I don't have enough to make a change in the world, to make even a ripple in the needs of those oppressed. Given the opportunity, I would have. Oh to have learned this so many years ago. My path through life would have been less visable, I would have tread ever so lightly upon the earth. Leaving no trace of my passing. The ignorance of my past haunts me at times.

I look at things differently now, not throught the haze of life's hard work and endeavors, but through the eyes of an older man slowly walking to my end. I have given up outbursts in favor of thinking inward, giving each challenge analysis. It is serving me well. Choosing to take responsibility in my world has given me great freedom, health, and wisdom.

Rocky Clark------ 3 September, 2006